


You're not a monster

by WheezyCheesy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Also I'm not finished the story, Book Character(s), Cannon Divergent, F/F, How Do I Tag, I basically start spewing my own nonsense from the story at 1x09, I've been thinking about this universe for a long time, Original Character(s), also, and, i also changed their backstories a little bit, i read 11 chapters of the first book and I think I'm qualified, idk if i ever will but oh well, please be patient I'm not the most competent writer on here, this is my first story too!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-15 07:32:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18494278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WheezyCheesy/pseuds/WheezyCheesy
Summary: After standing in the ruins of the exodus ship, the group make their way back to the dropship, when Clarke gets attacked has to deal with a reaper attack.Clarke thinks that that is the end for her, but when she meets those eyes, those green eyes, everything changes.akaThe Clexa reaper Au that literally no one asked for.Cannon divergent from 1x09, but i devcided to put my own little spin onto the characters and their back stories for jucier drama (but you'll get to that eventually, if you read it that is)While i stan Clexa and that will likely be the main ship of this book, it won't be Clexa centred. I love too many other characters, ships and brotps to do that.Sorry not sorry :)





	1. Exodus

As they stood in the middle of the Exodus' remains, Clarke was frozen. Her mother couldn't really be dead. Could she? Maybe she wasn't on that ship. Maybe they messed up and launched it accidentally. Maybe it was a test run. Maybe-  
Gross, what's that smell?

"CLARKE STOP!" she's interrupted from her thoughts by Raven's yell and that smell. Ugh is that... burning fuel?

"Rocket fuel?" She asked noticing the leaking container,

"Hydrazine... highly unstable in its non-solid form. If this stuff meets fire were all pink mist." Raven stated as she dipped a rock into the chemical and tossed it into a nearby open flame, "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" She yelled but was soon drowned out by the sound of the explosion. It was massive, the flames shot up like a... well like a rocket. It's rocket fuel. Duh.

The deafening boom got the attention of the other delinquents and they all hurried away upon hearing the Latina tell that they "need to clear the area!" They didn't know where the fuel had leaked and no one particularly felt like ending up like that rock.

\---

The walk back was eerily quiet. It was like no one wanted to talk to her. The only person who actually did want to talk to her was Finn, but he knew she was still mad about the whole cheating-on-Raven-with-her thing, so he left her alone.

No one in the group knew how she would react, not even Raven, and they'd been friends since they were young. Stress, anger and grief, in particular, can do strange things to a person, and well... recently Clarke has had her fair share of all three and to top it all off, her mother was likely charred in a vat of rocket fuel somewhere in that wreck. Great. Just great. So, as a result of this, the delinquents all left a fair distance between themselves and her, not wanting to risk aggravating the blonde.

Clarke was actually very thankful for this. It allowed her to use the environment to clear her head. Despite being on the ground for some time now, she had never really had the chance to do this.

So, she listened. To every tweet of every bird. To every snap of every twig. Every crunch of every leaf. Every pad of every step. Every inhale and exhale of every breath. Every growl of Every- wait... growl?

She stopped. She had to make sure. She couldn't seriously be imagining that. She couldn't seriously be imaging an animalistic growl... in the middle of a radioactive forest... filled with mutant animals... and angry grounders... and reapers. Surely not.

She heard it again.

Oh no.

Clarke wasn't convinced she hadn't said that out loud. Not that it mattered though. The group was now too far away to hear any exclamation she would be able to rasp out. Too far away to hear her. To help her.

This can't be good. The growls grew louder. She could hear footsteps now. Running. Getting closer. Louder. She couldn't move.

Every instinct told her to run. RUN! She screamed at herself. Her legs wouldn't budge.

By now the noises were deafening. By now she could hear every snarl with ease. By now the group could hear. By now she knew. She had to run.

JUST RUN, YOU IDIOT!

"CLARKE!" Finn, "RUN!" I'm trying! BANG! Whoever fired the gun didn't have very good aim. The bullet nearly hit her. Not it. It was enough to break her daze though.

She must have been running. The trees moved toward her and wind smacked her face, twigs broke under her steps and her breathing laboured. She couldn't feel any of it though. All she felt was the desire to turn. To look at the thing she was running from. To see that she wasn't crazy. That it wasn't just grief messing with her head. Just to check that all of this h was real.

Big mistake.

The force of the sudden sharp turn was enough to knock her off her feet and she stumbled her way back down the hill she had just run up.

Then she saw it.

Then she felt it.

It was a Reaper. This was it. This is how she dies. Clarke Griffin, mauled to death by a feral... human?

Except it wasn't. She felt it grab her. Snarl at her... but the moment her blue eyes met its eyes. Those eyes. Those emerald green eyes... everything stopped. The whole world seemed to sit still. As if it too was in awe, just like she was.

The next thing she knew was the Reaper's body falling limp on top of her. Then she saw Bellamy with his gun. He'd just knocked the reaper out cold with the back of it. Right behind him, Finn and Raven stood, breathing heavily, the sudden sprint to her clearly strained their stamina.

"You okay Princess?" Oh yeah, Finn! I just had a moment with the Reaper that was literally trying to kill me a minute ago! But I'm doing great! JUST GREAT!

"Clarke," Bellamy chimed in, after a beat, "are you okay? It didn't hurt you did-"

"She." Clarke blurted out without even thinking about it.

the group just looked back and forth between herself and the Reaper, confused. "I'm sorry? She?" Raven spoke up,

"It's a girl." Clarke sounded surprised herself, but now that she wasn't trying to kill her, Clarke could actually tell that the muddy reaper in her arms was, in fact, a young girl, probably not much older than herself. "Look."

"What are we gonna do with it?" Finn asked, "I mean if we leave it she might wake up and chase us again."

"So what do we do? Put a bullet in her brain and dump the body in a nearby ditch? 'Cause that will definitely get us on the Gounder's good sides!" Raven's retort was laced with sarcasm but the thought of killing the girl made Clarke flinch.

"We can't kill her." Clarke deadpanned.

Bellamy and Raven looked confused, but Finn spoke up, "Why not? It's a monster, Clarke. We've seen them rip our people to shreds. It would maim you without a second thought! It has to-"

"But it didn't" Clarke snapped, silencing Finn, "We don't kill her." The group simply stared at her, looks of utter confusion written across all of their faces, "You guys didn't see what I saw. Yes, she was going to kill me, but she didn't-"

"Clarke, if we weren't here, you'd be a pile of bones and guts in the middle of the Forrest. It-"

"She, Finn. She." Clarke was yelling now.

"Fine, she would have torn your arms off and eaten your brains by now or something!" Finn yelled back,

"She's not a zombie, Finn! Maybe if Bellamy wasn't here I would be Reaper food but... truth be told, I don't think I would be." They all kept staring at her. Finn looked angry but Bellamy and Raven were just puzzled.

"Why?" Raven spoke up after a moment sounding genuinely curious,

"Because... because..." The blonde started, but cut herself off with an exasperated sigh, "You'd just think I'm crazy."

"Try me." Raven's voice was soft and comforting despite still having her confident usual confident, cocky tone could still be heard and her signature 'Raven Reyes smirk' still visible when she spoke, "Talk crazy to crazy ol' me."

Raven's antics were enough to rile a small laugh out of the blonde, but her face quickly fell when she started to speak, if you could call it that, her voice was barely above a whisper when she spoke, "When she grabbed me... she could have killed me. She could've ripped my throat out. She could've torn my arms off. She could have done something, anything... but she didn't. She just stared at me." She turned away from the group and faced the girl who was still unconscious in her arms, "It was so strange, the look in her eyes. It was like... it was like she was trapped."

"Trapped?" Raven kneeled to her level and matched Clarke's tone of voice, "How's she trapped?" she added once the blonde met her eyes for a moment before studying the girl again.

"I don't know. It's like... like she was just a girl... trapped in a monster's body... like... like she had no control over what she was doing." When she looked up and saw the group's pitiful and doubtful expressions she looked back at the girl before adding, "you guys didn't look in her eyes, you didn't see what I saw. You guys didn't see it... there was something there, someone there... I know it."

Looking between Raven and the guys, she saw 3 different things, Raven stared at her with only gentle curiosity in her eyes, Bellamy's face showed nothing but realisation like things somehow started to make sense and Finn, Finn just looked angry.

"Yeah! You're right! You do sound crazy! Kill her or don't kill her! WHATEVER! I'm going back to camp! Just don't die in the process!" Finn exploded and stormed off, but not before punching a nearby tree, probably breaking his hand in the process.

Raven made a move to follow the boy but decided better of it, knowing he'd be more likely to explode again if she followed him. She turned to Bellamy who appeared to be in deep thought "Bell, what do we do?" Clarke turned her head from the direction Finn stormed off in to look at the older boy, who, she hoped could come up with a solution.

"We can't just leave her in the middle of the woods... she's still dangerous..." Bellamy half-heartedly declared but when he saw Clarke's face fall he quickly added on, "I believe you, Clarke. before I knocked her out you guys were literally just staring at each other. Neither of you were moving at all... it was so strange to see but it makes a lot more sense if she's a human... even deep down." Instant relief washed over the two girls, neither wanted to see the girl get hurt, even if she was potentially dangerous.

"So what now?" Raven pressed again

"The Dropship." The two turned to look at Clarke once again, "We could keep her on the second level, in chains if we have to. This way she won't hurt anyone and we can keep an eye on her. Maybe then we can find out what the hell is actually going on." the girls turned to Bellamy, both hoping that he would agree to Clake's idea,

"Finn's not gonna like this," he said as he picked up the girl out of Clake's arms,

"Yeah? Well he's just gonna have to suck it up and deal with it 'cause he owes both me and Clarke," Raven replied while offering a hand out to said girl, who needed it since she'd spent the last quarter of an hour with a dead weight on her lap and had ended up with numb legs.

Raven and Bellamy spent the rest of the walk back to camp squabbling over something that Clarke didn't quite catch, she was too transfixed on the girl in her friend's arms, wondering about her story and what is going to happen to them, to care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know the beginning this was literally just a transcript from 1x10 but I couldn't think of a better way to start it. I also liked the idea of Clarke and Raven being friends on the ark, so I've come up with a whole backstory for them (it's probably way more complicated than it should be) but more on that later.
> 
> Be sure to let me know what you thought of this and tell me any plot holes and grammar errors and I'll correct them :)
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> (also incase anyone was wondering i got the title from 12 rounds, by Bohnes. Cringey i know but it fit)


	2. Awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is my au and I can do whatever I like so I'm adding in book characters and OCs (but we'll meet some these later) and no one can stop me!!

"Hey Rae, Monty? Oh! Monty some guys were-" Octavia said as she walked into the 'tinker tent' as some of the delinquents had dubbed it, it was basically just where all the things that could be useful when making a radio were put, so Raven, and sometimes Monty, could come and tinker away, but she stopped in her tracks when she saw Clarke, "Clarke? You okay?" She asked, clearly concerned as her eyes darted between the other two people in the tent looking for some confirmation before leaving her eyes on the motionless girl.

"No, she's not." Monty said walking over to the brunette "You said someone needed me or something?"

"Uh yeah, some of the guys were hoping you could identify a berry they found," Octavia said when she tore her eyes away from the blonde, "I mean they tried Clarke too, but no one could find her, and I guess this is why."

Monty just nodded and left to find the guys who found the berries,

Octavia kept trying to get the blondes attention but gave up after a few minutes with no results. "Rae? What's wrong with her?"

Raven finally looked up from what she was tinkering with, "Lots really, I mean in the span of a couple of days all hell has broken loose, for little Griff." she stated as she turned to Clarke with a sad look, the girl, who probably didn't notice that Octavia had even entered the tent, she was so out of It, "Y'know? Wells, Charlotte. She's dating her childhood best friend's boyfriend. We've quite possibly started a war with the grounders, her mom might be dead," Octavia turned to her with shock across her face, "She might actually be alive, if I could get this damn radio to working again, 'Cause, of course, some idiot came and messed with it while I was gone and now it's fucked and I don't know how to fix it. Oh yeah, and she had a 'moment' with a deadly murderous reaper... so that's fun! Honestly, I think it's all hitting her now. It's a lot to take in. I don't know how she's coping, especially with all the shit she's had in the last three years." Raven said finally peeling her eyes from the broken blonde,

"Rae she doesn't look so Good. When was the last time she slept or ate for that matter?" Octavia asked, noticing the blonde's paler than usual complexion and her cheekbones that were more prominent than usual and the small bags that rested on top of those,

"I made her eat some berries when Bell forced her to sit down in here, a like 2 hours ago, I think, but she hasn't even said a word since she came in," Raven stated looking back at the girl.

Octavia neeled in front of the girl and tried to get her attention, but once again her attempts were in vain, she had to resort to shaking the girl's shoulders and practically shouting in her ears before she finally managed to get her to snap out of it, "Clarke, you should get some sleep. You've had a stressful day."

" 'm fine." she barely even mumbled in response,

"Look," Raven turned around to look at the pair, "I know you, you're curious about our intriguing new reaper friend, you want to try to help her and you're upset about the exodus ship and your mom. However, you're not going to do anyone any good by just sitting on your ass barely even managing to keep your eyes open!" she ranted as the sleepy blonde mumbled some sort of inaudible protest, "Now, say that again but so I can actually hear it this time."

"Rae, I'm... I can't go to sleep I need...-"

"You need to what? Clarke? Collapse from exhaustion?" She yelled before adding, with a sigh, "Griff, c'mon. Let's take a little walk, eh? Let's go to... let's go to Thalia's tent, I'm sure it'll be good to see her after the week you've had." Raven's voice was stern and Clarke knew there was no point in even trying to argue, so she settled for a grumble of protest. "C'mon."

Raven helped pull the girl up but Octavia helped since she seemed to be struggling a little and they helped walk her to her former cell-mate's tent,

"Hey, guys- Clarke?" Thalia sat up on her bed,

"Hey, sorry to just barge in but Clarke has had a really bad week and-" Octavia started before the three girls stumbled a little,

"And we've all got a lot of work to do. We were hoping you could help, y'know cheer her up a little, get her to talk about this... or talk in general. She's not doing too great, right now." Raven finished as they set the blonde girl down on Thalia's bed.

"Umm yeah, sure it's fine." The girl replied, "I've heard some rumours is... is her mom really..." she whispered the last part,

"Maybe. We're still tryna figure that out. Take care of her please." The Latina's voice was lined with nothing but sentiment and legitimate concern for her friend. "I'd stay and try myself but... Ya know" After Thalia gave her a small knowing nod, the two girls left the tent while telling Clarke they'd get her if anything happened with the reaper, leaving the former cell-mates alone.

Thalia took a moment to study the girl In front of her, they only shared a cell for 6 months before Clarke was placed in solitary for the last 9 before being sent down, but in that time the two girls became the most important person in the others lives, a stranger would have guessed they'd been friends since birth, they were that close. She hated seeing the blonde like this, "Clarke?" No reply, "Griffin?" The blonde didn't even move, "PRISONER 319! GET UP! BREAKFAST!" The girl half-yelled, imitating their least favourite guard.

Clarke didn't even register that the girl had even spoken. She just sat there, silently, the only movement she did make was the involuntary shaking thanks to the violent sobs the girl was trying to suppress.

It broke Thalia's heart to see her like this, after struggling out of the covers and making sure her make-shift cast hadn't come off, she hugged the girl.

Once her arms were around the girl, Clarke started to cry. Thalia had no clue why the girl was upset, she'd spent all of her time on the ground in a tent, after getting hurt during the landing and painfully, she would add, had a large piece of metal lodged into her right leg after her seatbelt came undone when the parachutes failed.   
The only person who was hurt as much as she was, was Jasper and the spear incident, but her leg went septic and she ended up with a pretty nasty infection in her leg, leaving her bedridden for the foreseeable future.

Thalia let the girl cry out whatever was troubling her, offering small words of reassurance when she needs it before she finally manages to get her to calm down, "Clarke." Thalia's voice was soft and gentle, as if she was afraid that speaking too loud would break the girl, "Clarke, will you please talk to me," she left a pause for Clarke to speak, but she didn't take it, "C'mon honey, you can talk to me, what's wrong?"

"A lot. Thalia, there's so much happening right now... I don't know what to do... I..." her voice broke and she gave into another flood of tears that forced their way out. Thalia just calmly helped the girl through it and persuaded her to tell her everything, so she did. She poured her heart out, stemming from her hurt about Wells and Charlotte and her issues with Finn, to her mom and the reaper.

By the time she was done she felt 10 pounds lighter, and her problems didn't seem as suffocating, granted, she still had to actually deal with her problems, talking about them didn't just magically fix them, but put them into perspective, her mind felt a lot less chaotic now. Thalia did her best to be supportive, she listened and only inputted when she felt appropriate. She took some of Clarke's burden, but she's just happy that she could help her friend. She had even managed to get her to eat something, which was even better.

"I'm sorry, T. I shouldn't be putting this on you," Clarke said after a few minutes of silence,

"Clarke. Don't you ever apologise for this, Okay? I'm always going to be here for you, if you want to laugh, cry or anything in between, I'm here." The girls sat in silence, the tension in the air slowly faded as the two friends shared soft smiles, "Come on," she said laying down and patting her patting the space next to her, "you've had a rough couple of days and, I'm just going to be brutally honest here, you look like shit." Clarke shot a droopy scowl at her former cell-mate, "I'm just staying. You should get some sleep; you need it."   
Clarke, being too tired to protest, lay down next to her friend and was fast asleep within minutes.

~~~

When Clarke woke, Octavia was hovering over the bed, trying to figure out a way to wake up the girl without disturbing Thalia. She must have fallen asleep too. "What's up O? how long have I been asleep?"

"You've been in here for about... 9 hours, give or take. 'Guess you needed it." There was a beat of silence but Octavia quickly remembered why she came in, "She's awake."

At this, she shot out of the bed and scrambled to her feet, being careful enough not to wake Thalia, "What!" she questioned,

"yeah she woke up a few minutes ago. Bellamy, Finn and others are up there talking-" Clarke cut the girl off by grabbing her wrist hard and practically dragging the two of them to the dropship. Not that she didn't care about what the girl had to say, but she needed to get up there.

Once the pair made it up to the second level, Clarke noticed two things. One, there was about 6 rowdy teenagers on the second level, not including Bellamy (who, technically, isn't a teenager anymore). He was, surprisingly, trying to keep the calm.

The six teenagers were all arguing, getting louder and louder with each retort and comment. Even the reaper was awake and alert, tied up and snarling at everyone, but awake.  
Everyone, however, stopped the moment the room realised that Clarke had arrived.

Once again, when blue eyes met green and the world seemed to stand still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so I'm only partly through the first 100 book but I like Thalia as a character so far, so she's here now. Sorry it's a bit slow and empty. I have a feeling the next few chapters will be mainly dialogue based chapters so that's a thing... Sorry if you don't like dialogue but I feel like it's going to be quite necessary for a while (plus I'm not great at writing much else) :/


End file.
